Vodka and Soda

growing up

 

[source]

 

today i witnessed something very sad -- my 4 year old kayla, has been exposed to the evilness that is The Clique.

who would have thought that at the innocent and precious age of 4, such a thing would exist?  that at 4 years old, one could willingly and openly exclude another person?

while i'm no stranger to The Clique, it saddens me that kayla will be facing many years of this;  of battling and overcoming this cruelty as she begins JK this september knowing this type of treachery will only continue during her entire academic career.

so here's what happened:  kayla spends a lot of time with 2 other girls KL and M.  i think that kayla and KL are closer but the three of them are usually together for most of the day.  when kayla arrived at preschool and i was putting her stuff away, KL and M rushed up to her and right in front of me, KL whispered in kayla's ear "don't be M's friend".  

seriously; at 4 years old, what the fuck.  

i know she didn't say anything nasty like "M is a wretched bish" but that's not too far off from what she was saying since the end result, if kayla played along, was they skip off together leaving M alone and hurt.   we've all seen the movie Mean Girls and we hate all three of those blasted C U Next Tuesdays.  i do not want my daughter to be one of those girls.

while i know KL isn't my child and she's only 4, she is obviously old enough to know how to be mean and how to hurt people.   what's even worse is that kayla will pick up on stuff like that.  i see it already... sometimes if she doesn't get her way, she'll say things like "i'm not your friend!" or "i don't like you!".  a couple of times she's told me "i don't love you anymore!"  when i said no to something (that stung a lot *sniff*).  

so, without thinking, i looked KL dead in the eye and firmly told her that she wasn't being nice; that she can't tell someone (kayla) not be friends with other people; that if she was having a problem with M (or anyone), she needs to work it out with that person; not be mean to them.  then i said:  what if M told kayla not to be friends with you, would you like that?  how would that make you feel?  and she responded with "it would make me sad" and so i told her, yes, it would make you sad so that's how M will feel if you say this to other people.   

i know that at this age, kids will fight.  they'll bicker and be silly and not share and say stupid things like "you're a poo-poo head".  i get that.  i get that kayla will have to eventually deal with this on a regular basis.  i get that i won't be there like i was today to defend her if she was ever in that situation and i get that kayla may be on the receiving end several times.  as someone who went through that, it's heart-breaking, cruel and just plain mean. 

the thing is, girls and boys are inherently different.  boys will hit  you in the head, push you down, smack you in the face, trip you.  they may even say things like "you're stupid" or "you're a sissy" but when it comes down to it, they just want to play.  in general, (young) boys rarely hold grudges, forget about fights and once they duke it out, they're pretty much cool with each other and will probably return to playing with each other until the next (fist) fight.

girls on the other hand are maniuplative.  they're cruel and cunning and have a mean streak.  i'm a woman and i'm saying this because it's true.  i'm not saying all girls are like this but we all have a propensity to be this way.  Lous CK (comedian) summed it up perfectly when  he described the difference between and girls:  boys fuck things up; girls are fucked up.  boys just do damage to your house and your body; girls will leave scars in your psyche and fuck with who you are.  

i hate to say it, but he's right.

i've witnessed first hand how cruel girls can be - the cliques, the whispers behind your back, the charade of being your friend but then torturing you with mind-fucks as you do whatever you can to "fit in".  i'm sure we've all been there at one point and while i know it's not as bad now, witnessing KL made me realize just how close kayla is to that type of dynamic.  how do i teach her NOT to follow along?  how do i teach her to be confident enough to walk away, sure of her actions and of herself, if she were the victim of that kind of (cliquey) cruelty?  

alas, this is something that every girl needs to go through, i guess. it sucks and i don't want her to go through it yet i know it's going to happen.  hopefully, she'll be a tomboy and won't have to deal with that crap!

product review: aura cacia argan oil

 

you all know from previous posts that i've been struggling with my skin lately and this is my saviour:  100% certified organic argan oil.  i wanted to give it time to truly see the benefits and after a month of using this religiously (twice a day), i can honestly say that this is the best product i've ever bought for my skin.

my skin freaked out twice - once when it decided to give my la mer cream and expensive sunscreen the finger and then i screwed it up even more by over-processing it when i did a major skin care haul and applied everything i bought onto my face at once (done out of sheer excitement, stupidity and impatience to systematically incorporate each product into my routine).  i royally fucked up my skin's barrier and i was plagued with red, hyper-sensitive, irritated and super dry skin.  the dryness centered around my eyes (which, in turn, made my concealer look horrible and aged me 10 years, nothankyou), dry patches on my cheeks and under my chin area.  gone was my smooth, supple skin and i looked like something that crawled out of a crypt, i shit you not.

i turned to argan oil as a last resort (and sort of by accident) and after slathering it on for 2 days, the skin around my eyes were no longer dry.  the skin under my chin stopped peeling and those gross patches went away.  i now use this twice a day (morning and night) and since then, a lot of the fine lines around my eyes have disappeared.  for $14 a bottle, id' say that's fucking amazing.

this product has actually simplifed my skin care routine so instead of applying 5 products like i used to, i only need 3:  hydrating serum, argan oil, moisturizer and then i wait for awesomeness to set in.

benefits of argan oil:

• argan oil has active substances called triterpenoids which aid in the healing, offers anti-inflammatory and sun protection
• amazing for eczema.  i have eczema and this has eliminated most of it. 
• can also be used to add nourishment to hair and cuticles.  a product that does 3 things!
• not all argan oil is made equal (although some people may say otherwise).  i used that josie maran garbage for three weeks straight with zero results and i spent a ton of money on it.  after 2 days of using this organic argan oil (which only cost me $14 from a health food store), my skin cleared right up
• cools and soothes irritations
• reduces wrinkles by restoring the skin's hydro-lipid layer (fancy talk which really means:  dry skin = wrinkles and argan oil will fix that shit right up)

keep in  mind though, that not everyone reacts well to skin oils.  it's wise to do a test patch first by applying a small amount of product close to your face (usually by your jaw line) for one week and watch for a reaction.  i test patch on my neck because the skin is as sensitive as the skin on my face.  

product rating:  10/10

school trip

 

 

today was an awesome day - kayla had a school trip and i tagged along as a 'helper'.   the destination:  cedar park resort; about an hour north of the school.   35 children went; 22 of them 4 years and under.  you know that it was nutballs.

cedar park resort is a camp site with a giant playground and water park.  it was an all-day trip (9am-4pm) so that meant the kids had to take everything with them - towel, change of clothes, lunch and snacks.  now, the average 3 or 4yr old isn't much bigger than 3 1/2 feet so when you cram all that stuff into a regular-sized napsack, the majority of them were dragging them on the ground as they wore them on their backs; half of them could barely hoist them up onto their shoulders and some kids even toppled backwards at the sheer weight of their bags.   i know you shouldn't laugh at kids but it was freaking hilarious.

while it was a crazy day, it was the most adorable thing i've ever attended.  

these kids are so awesome; they're kind, smart, rambunctious, freaking hilarious and while some are on the bratty side, the majority of them are really good kids who play well together and listens well to instructions.  

while i know you shouldn't favor kids, i did anyway.  there's tiago - a 4yr old boy who seriously looks like he's 7.  i swear, this kid stands more than a foot taller than everyone else.  you can tell he's going to be huge when he grows up.  tiago is social, hilarious and loves the movie cars.  he told me all about his sleep toy (cars) collection as we rode the bus to the resort.  he took an immediate liking to hubs when he went with them on their first trip which was his apparent by his constant "where's kayla's daddy?".  his first words to me were "you're kayla's mommy?" as i saw the confusion spread across his face.  what he meant was but you look different from kayla's daddy and by 'different' he means i'm of the yellow people.  

then there's miguel.  i sat beside him during lunch and quickly realized that he's a boy of few words but full of giggles.  as he grinned at me with a face smeared black from his burnt grilled cheese (which i'm positive his father cooked because no mother would have sent her kid to school with that hideously burnt sandwich), i immediately liked him.  this kid eats like a champ.  he was the last one sitting at the table as the other kids were getting ready to go to the water park and he ate everything that was in his lunch bag - a whole grilled cheese sandwich, blueberries, grapes, his juice, a yogurt drink and 2 cheese sticks.  he must take shits like nobody's business.  miguel didn't say much to anyone but he's the most adorable kid.  

anthony is also awesome.  he's a bright-eyed kid who loves to talk and ask questions.  he also likes to scold and set people straight.. of which i got a taste when i kept confusing him with miguel.  "why do you keep calling me miguel?  my name is anthony.  it's written on my hat *pointing to label* see? it's says anthony.   i'm wearing a white hat; miguel is wearing a blue one so now you can remember my name.  it's anthony".  well anthony, you sure told me.  i wanted to hug him.  

i also noticed that kayla likes chasing boys.  all i heard all day was: "kayla! kayla!! let's play!  where's kayla?! kayyyyylaaaaaaaa!".  i hope this isn't a prelude of what's to come when she's older WAH!

 

 bumpy ride equals blurry picture

 

"smile pretty for daddy!"... and this is what she gave me.

 

singing wheels on the bus 

 

lining up to go to the water park

  i got ditched on the way back because kayla wanted to sit with her friend (*sniff* it's happening already!) so my bus buddy was bff's son.  we had a great ol' time talking about his (tae kwon doe) belt grading today, his cousins, golf "kathy, i'm a very good golfer" and i taught him a new game which made him giggle his ass off.  

 

it's amazing to watch these kids interact.  you'd think that they wouldn't do much but play with each other but they're little people who have real conversations - about their weekend, what they like, what they did last weekend and their favorite things.   just watching kayla and her friends talking at the table as they ate together was so incredible - it was as though they were 30somethings catching up and all they needed was a bottle of wine.  

the next trip is in 2 weeks and me and hubs are going.  it's going to be hilarious.

weekend recap: KOA Kamping, massive haul

 

dear readers, do you remember this sign in a previous post?  around the same time last year, i was at KOA in niagra cooking my ass off in their shitty non-air conditioned shit hole kabins.  seeing how it was the opposite of awesome last year,  you could imagine my chagrin when my family wanted to do it again. 

i just came back from another KOA campsite (thousand islands) however, this time i had rules since it was no longer my first rodeo.

i made sure we rented an air conditioned unit and a bonus -- we also had a bathroom with a shower in-room.  the washroom was a fucking hike and a half (three minutes) but that three minute walk in the dead of night is unacceptable.  besides, how could hubs walk me to the bathroom (to protect me from the campsite knife-wielding killer of course) and leave kayla in the room by herself?!   well played, kathy; well played *pats self on back*.

the weekend was awesome and fun.  the kids had a blast and on saturday night, more relatives drove down to join the party and what a party it was.  a huge dinner (i'm pretty sure it was a 12-course meal), lots of kids running around playing, fireworks, a campsite movie, a firefly show and kayla's bedtime was basically shot (11pm!!!)  but she had fun and that was the whole point.  

 

our kabin | kayla looking around.  we had a bunk bed with a double to kayla's left.  washroom was in front of the bunk beds | kayla chilling out with her cousin and grandpa | family dinner

 

we drove up on friday and left on sunday and i'm proud to say that throughout the entire trip, i ate healthy and clean 100%.  no smores, no junk food, no nothing.  the only thing that a damper on the weekend was that i fucking left my burberry sunglasses at the campsite!!!   imagine my horror as i'm sitting in the car - 30 minutes after we drove away - realizing my sunglasses were missing.  my beautiful, expensive, make-me-look-glamorous-even-if-i-looked-like-shit sunglasses were gone.  and i saw them in my mind - in the campsite washroom, sitting all alone on the toilet paper dispenser wondering where i am.  oh, how my heart weeps.   

whenever something shitty like this happens, i always think: why karma? WHY?!?  what did i do to deserve this?  i'm a good person.  i don't steal.  i help people all the time.  why do you do me like this?!  and it was then that i realized the burberry sunglass gods were angry at me for lusting after some rayban aviators the other week after i promised i would never look at another pair of sunglasses when i shelled out a fuckload of money for my burberrys. i guess they certainly gave me the finger.

 so today, i was on a mission to find another pair.

 

 

sunglass hut was having a  special - buy one get the other half price - so i hauled these two amazing aviators.  i normally don't suit aviator styles but these are the exception.  i'm still trying to decide if i need or want both of them but i might end up returning the raybans and keeping the maui jims.  the unusal thing is that i normally never even look at gold-rimmed sunglasses however, the maui jims actually look really nice.  

on my way back to the car, i felt something yanking my geek boner and when i went to investigate, i somehow found myself  in front of the HTC One X phone.   it's obvious what happened so i won't go into details.  i seriously love this phone so much i want to have sex with it.

 

how was your weekend?

OAL product review: vega sport pre-workout energizer

 

 

i'm serious as a heart attack with my workouts;  like, so serious that i've started taking supplements to up my game and push myself just a little bit harder.  

the last time i took supplements was when i was in my teens and 20s and into heavy lifting.  i took a lot of protein back then in various forms - bars and/or powder - and not only did they work, they really worked to a point that i used to get asked several times if i was a body builder (?!). 

this time around, i'm not looking to bulk up; instead, i'm going for energy and focus to push me just a bit farther with my workouts (insanity and p90x).  don't worry, i'm not going to go steriod crazy and get all jersey-shore-ronnie-rage-like but i just want a little boost to make me last longer during the really intense workouts.... sort of like viagra for my muscles.

however, i'm weary about these types of things; i remember taking ripped fuel (once) when i was in school (beacuse i was always falling asleep in class and needed to get through one day of tests) and that wasn't any fun.  i was so jittery, my heart was racing and i could barely even write anything because my hands were shaking.  mind you, this was before they banned ephedrine from all supplements within canada so you can imagine how hopped up i was.   

enter vega sport.

hubs told me about it and what caught my eye was the fact that it's a natural and plant-based product, not to mention vegan.  not that i'm a vegan but vegans avoid any processed/chemical substances so i knew this would be as pure as they come.  my body is my temple so i refuse to pour chemicals into my system for an extra boost.  this product line was created by brendan brazier, a professional ironman triathlete whose diet is all plant-based and he couldn't find any supplements on the market to suit is dietary (vegan) needs so he created the vega sport line.   and because he's an ironman triathlete, you know this shit is for real.

i take the pre-energizer powder (lime flavor) which has a pleasant, limey/lemony taste with no weird after-taste.  it does give you an extra energy boost but not that crazy jittery ephedrine-pumped kind of boost.. something that gives you just enough to push you a bit further and you can tell it totally burns off because you're dead tired a few hours after your workout.  

instructs are to mix 1 scoop of powder with 1 cup of water (or non-dairy liquid) and drink 20mins before exercise.  

i tested the intensity of this product by taking it right before the hardest insanity workout (max interval circuit) and it actually gave me the energy to push through, i didn't have to rest as much as i did and i actually completed the entire workout with only 2 rests outside of the designated rest times (instead of multiple rest times to call 911, vomit,  restart my heart....you know how it goes).

rating:  10/10

photo fridays: beautiful vancouver

 

in 2003, hubs and i took a trip out west to beautiful vancouver, british columbia.  it was my first time there and it was also a special occasion because we had just gotten engaged. 

we stayed with some good friends who were toronto transplants; they welcomed us with open arms and took some time off to take us around for the week.   we did all the touristy things like bike riding in stanley park, going to kits beach, visiting capilano bridge, taking a day trip to whistler and seattle and hanging out on robson street where there's a starbucks every second store.  each night we went out for dinner, hung out with friends and i think we may have gone clubbing in gas town.  

 

don't you think this could be a Gap ad?

 

when hubs and i travel, we always take "model" shots of each other because we're ghey like that.  

 

we went in the month of september and while the vancouverites may complain a lot about the rain in the city, it was bright and sunny the entire time we were there so we spent a lot of time outdoors taking in the sights, visiting friends and enjoying the city.  if you're ever in vancouver, you must go to Daiso - only the best store that's ever been built.  imagine a dollar store on steroids with way cooler stuff.  

vancouver is a gorgeous city and i could totally see myself living there.   if you ever plan a trip out there, here are my favorite things to do:

• go shopping on robson street - love the stores there!
• people watch on robson street.  there's a coffee shop at every corner (no joke) so sit back, have some java and watch everyone as they walk by in yoga pants holding a starbucks coffee cup
• there's an amazing cupcake place on robson street (can't remember the name) but they have yummy cupcakes....although if you're lactose intolerant like me, maybe you should skip this or you may wind up shitting out your insides like i did.  no bueno.
• biking in stanley park - it's so gorgeous
• visit the aquarium at stanley park - amazing!
• go to kits beach. the real estate is incredible and the beach is nice
• didn't i say go to daiso?  
• smoke some bc weed.  just kidding.  sort of :\
• visit the campus of the university of british columbia... it's so beautiful.  
• go to whistler!  what a gorgeous place and the drive up in awesome

 

have a great weekend!! we're off to the thousand islands to go camping until sunday evening (and by camping, i mean staying in an air-conditioned "kottage" on the koa kamp grounds)

lose weight ... and keep it off

 

[source]

 

i know you all are probably so sick of all my recent posts about exercise and weight loss... yet here's another one.  can you tell i'm obsessed?  but this time it's for YOU in case some of you are looking at making a change in your life.  i wanted to post some of my learnings since in my old age, my body doesn't perform like it used to and this weight loss thing has been a challenge for me.  you're welcome.

after reading a few forums, i noticed that there aren't many people who are aware of how to properly lose weight and keep it off.  it seems that everyone's talking about dropping weight fast; that a quick fix is what people are looking for.  what they seem to forget is that weight loss is a slow process, takes effort and is a lifestyle change.

you have to want it.  i've been in this position before; i try and stop, try and stop... you can even see it in my previous posts within this blog.  in the past, i've tried to get on the weight loss bandwagon and although i thought i could do it, i really wasn't into it.  you know how it is... you think oh, i really should get back  into shape and you put in somewhat of an attempt but there's not much gusto behind your actions.  your determination to stick with something is directly proportionate to your desire for something - when you want something bad enough, you'll do what you need to do to get it.  when i saw that picture of me that spawned OAL, that was enough for me to want this bad enough and stick to it.

there's no such thing as 'fast weight loss'.  even with the most intense interval training, it takes a good 2 to 3 (long) months of fucking hard work and dedication which includes a very precise and regimented nutrition plan.  fad diets and diet pills only set you up for failure because although you may drop some weight quickly, you haven't learned the respect of how hard weight loss is; you haven't made a lifestyle change therefore keeping the weight off is difficult.  when you stop taking those pills or stop that fad diet, your lifestyle largely remains the same and the weight will come back, often double the amount. 

you didn't put the weight on overnight, therefore don't expect to lose the weight overnight.  one of the more common reasons why people give up is because they want results NOW!  setting realistic expectations for yourself and your goals are tantamount to sticking it out for the long haul.  don't expect to see significant results in 3 weeks but more like the 7th or 8th week (depending on your diet and exercise level).  just make sure that you are doing an exercise that you enjoy!  a healthy lifestyle should be something enjoyable, not a chore.

it's a lifestyle change and change takes time.  when you start doing something - especially when it's somethng you don't want to do (like exercise) - it initially will feel like an "effort".  this is because it's different from your current routine and requires you do expend energy on something that you normally don't do.  this is why many will lose steam within the first few weeks but did you know that humans take on average 4 weeks to form a habit?  this means if you do something every day (or nearly every day) consistently for at least 3-4 weeks, it'll no longer feel like an effort but something you'll do because it'll be part of your routine; working out and eating right has now become a habit.  and this, my friends, is how you keep the weight off:  your (new) lifestyle that includes proper nutrition and exercise on a regular basis and is just something you just get up and do will keep you trim and fit. 

change the way you look at food.  many people have a food-to-emotion assocation.  when they feel a certain way - sad, depressed etc - they turn to food for comfort.  if you learn to change your views about food and think of it it as 'fuel' instead of an escape, you can break the association of comfort eating and turn your attention to better ways of dealing with sticky situations (i know this is easier said than done).

the scale is deceiving.  i've only stepped on the scale a handful of time since i started OAL.  it's always been drilled into our heads that our weight should be our focus when in reality, there are too many variances with the scale.  where you are in your cycle, what you ate, water weight, even your own body type are all variances that can throw off the numbers.  the most accurate way to gauge your progress is by taking measurements on a monthly basis.  for example, i've been at this for over 7 months.  i never cheat with my diet, i workout like a motherfucker but when i stepped the scale last week (just for kicks), i discovered that i only lost six pounds since i started.  SIX FUCKING POUNDS IN 7 MONTHS; talk about what the fuck.   if that's not deflating, i don't know what is.  however, i'm losing inches and my body is changing.  if i were to go bywhat the scale said, i would shoot myself in the head and give up.  

you can't exercise your way out of a shitty diet.  weight loss is approximately 80% diet and 20% exercise.  if you eat garbage and work out, you're not doing much but wasting your time.  even if you don't work out and modify your diet, you can lose weight as long as you understand your daily weight loss caloric intake.

the mechanics behind weight loss

 

 *warning y'all - this is a long post*

insanity - it's ugly

when i started my fitness program at the beginning of the year, i detailed how and why i started; followed by some updates about my progress.  fast forward 7 months and i've completed the 30 day shred, ripped in 30 and i'm currently on month two of insanity, a program that is designed to seriously kick your ass.

i thought i'd post some things i've learned along the way, namely what and why interval training is so effective, understanding your BMR and your daily caloric intake and how you can use this information to help you lose weight safely and effectivly.

we all know that you need to exercise and eat right in order to lose weight.  the body needs to burn calories to shed fat but i found the mechanics of interval training fascinating and how it transforms the body by putting immense pressure on the entire system through short, yet very intense interval exercises.   

what is interval training?  in layman's terms, interval training involves a series of high-intensity, interval based exercises followed by a short period of rest.  this means you exercise as hard as you can, as fast as you can in the allotted interval time (typically 30-45 seconds) and then you rest for short period only to start up again after the rest period is done.   

when it comes to weight loss, many focus on the calories burned during exercise but did you know that you continue to burn calories after you exercise?  this process is called EPOC - excess post-exercise oxygen comsumption - which are the calories your body is burning as it's trying to return to its rest (pre-exercise) state.  the greater the intensity and duration of your intervals, the greater the intensity and duration of your EPOC which means your body will continue to burn calories for a longer period of time post-exericse.  depending on the intensity of your workout, your body can continue to burn calories  for up to 48 hours post-exercise.  how awesome is that?!?

this is why interval training is so effective - you push your body to exercise at the maximum level for a longer period; your heart rate soars and your body temporarily goes into an anaerobic state making it harder for your body to return to its  rest state, increasing the magnitude and intensity of your EPOC and therefore accelerates weight loss.  it's why programs like insanity, p90x, turbofire and all of those other high-intensity interval programs can boast about total body transformation in a short period of time (usually between 2 - 3 months) that would normally take about a year of regular, moderate exercise.  insanity circuits are 3 minutes each and each interval are 30-45 seconds followed by a 30 second rest betwween circuits.  this basically means you work like a motherfucker for 3 minutes straight and then you get 30 seconds to go throw up.

however, weight loss is only 20% exercise with 80% being your diet ... and proper nutrition is a MUST for weight loss.   

what is BMR and how do you lose weight?  to understand how much you need to eat in order to lose weight, you need to understand your daily caloric intake.   your body burns calories even in its rest state - this is called your BMR or Basal Metabolic Rate - and to understand your caloric needs, you need to figure out your BMR.  i could type out the calculation but it's easier if you go here and punch in your stats.  

the number you get is your BMR at rest state.   in my case, my BMR is 1417 so i burn 1417 calories by just sitting on my ass and doing nothing.

to figure out the number of daily calories you need to consume in order to maintain your current weight, multiply your BMR with the following value according to your current exercise level:

1. If you are sedentary (little or no exercise) : BMR x 1.2
2. If you are lightly active (light exercise/sports 1-3 days/week) : BMR x 1.375
3. If you are moderatetely active (moderate exercise/sports 3-5 days/week) : BMR x 1.55
4. If you are very active (hard exercise/sports 6-7 days a week) :  BMR x 1.725
5. If you are extra active (very hard exercise/sports & physical job or 2x training): BMR x 1.9

with insanity and other workouts i do, i selected #3 (moderate) so my maintenance caloric level is  1417 x 1.55 = 2196 which is the number of calories i need to eat daily in order to maintain my current weight.  if i eat more than 2196 calories, i will gain weight.  

for weight loss, subtract 500 calories from the maintenace level (2196-500 = 1690) so i need to consume 1690 calories per day to lose weight with my exercise level.  if you eat below your caloric maintenance level, you will lose weight and exercise will only accelerate that process.

when i first started OAL, i never tracked calories; i felt that i ate very well and exercised regularly and to be quite frank, i was too lazy bother with the tedious effort of tracking what i ate.   about a month ago, i realized that my weight loss had stalled and in fact, it seemed like i was gaining weight so after tracking my calories for a few days, i realized i was under-eating (which i suspected because i was always hungry) and i was averaging about 1193 calories per day which is way too low.  when you under-eat, your body goes into 'starvation mode' and will hang on to whatever weight you want to lose so your efforts for weight loss will be halted.  after altering my diet and bumping it up closer to what it should be, i started losing weight again.  isn't that weird?  to lose weight, you need to eat which is oppostie of what has been drilled into our heads for years "eat less to lose weight!".

by the way, a fantastic app to track your calories is myfitnesspal (also has an android and iphone app).   it has a huge database with caloric content so you simply search or scan the barcode of whatever food you're eating and it'll enter the rest in for you in addition to allowing you to modify your own personal weight settings.  don't pay attention to the caloric target it sets for you - it's way too low.  use the one mentioned above to find out your daily caloric intake.

the next OAL update will be all about insanity - the meal plan, workout summaries and why i think everyone should challenge themselves to try it.  i toyed with the idea of video taping myself so you can watch how i torture myself every day but then i thought about all the time it would take to edit out all the ugly parts of me cussing, grunting and throwing up.  instead, you can watch a snippit of one of my favorite yet extremely ass-kicking routines - max interval circuit.  skip to 5:26 for the routine that always kills me.  remember - this is after almost 50 minutes of ass-kicking-make-you-want-to-puke-your-guts-out interval circuits torture.  even these trained athletes and insanity veterans are fucking half dead. 

this shit cray but it's so fucking awesome. 

 

 

peacefully alone

 

 

in a previous post, i mentioned that i got some weird looks at a restaurant as i dined alone during lunch.  in fact, even the server gave me this awww, i'm so sorry! look as she took my order which was a little insulting but whatevs.

the fact of the matter is, i like being alone.   and in many cases, i prefer to do things alone because i know what i need to do and i get it done.  this includes shopping (at the mall), eating or running errands.   i see women congregated together at the mall; chatting and shopping and sometimes i wonder if i'm missing some sort of gene.   i guess in some ways, i'm not a 'typical woman' (totally generalizing here) but i don't like to talk a lot, i like silence and i don't like to walk aimlessly around (at the mall or other places).  unless i'm at an event where i know there'll be mingling or browsing, i prefer silence over talking for the sake of talking.  

large groups don't appeal to me anymore.  while i used to do things in groups (when i was younger and my group consisted of at least 20 people), i always found myself breaking away from the group to do my own thing.  i never kept up with the joneses, never followed the "cool kids" by doing something (stupid) just because they did and if i wanted to do something that no one else wanted to do, i just did it on my own.   this happened a lot.   as i got older, i learned that large groups attempting to do anything accomplishes nothing but add delay and hinder completion.  i'm a goal-oriented gal and if i have a goal to accomplish, i do it on my own because those who dilly-dally will just annoy and upset me.  

people sort of annoy me.   this sounds so mean but it's true.   not "people" as in everyone but people who talk a lot.   you know those types -- those who don't like lulls in conversation and feel a need to fill the silences with talk... and talk... and talk.   i like it when it's quiet; even in a group setting, i don't mind if there are silences; i actually prefer it over nonsensical yammering that has nothing to do with anything.  in fact, when i hear groups of women talking or bullshit on the tv (that hubs is watching) and there are people just yakking on and on, i have to walk away because it grates on my nerves.

don't get me wrong, i love hanging out with my friends and talking to them.  when we get together, i know it's going to be all about catching-up, laughter and chit-chat about anything and nothing.  however, friends understand comfortable silences and let them be.  

 

do you like being alone?

weekend recap: long weekend, the monkey turned 4, mama is tiyad!

 

this weekend was so  busy - long weekend and it was kayla's 4th birthday party.  her actual birthday was june 25 but we saved her big party until this past weekend.  now mama is tired and my plan for today was to do nothing.  for the most part, that was accomplished but i felt guilty so i also worked out - twice - and went grocery shopping.  then i started to clean but  remembered my do-nothing plan and immediately dropped everything.

now onto the fun part.  look how my monkey has grown in the past 4 years:  

yesterday i was watching her play and while i was looking at her face, it hit me that she doesn't have any more baby-like features... she's a little girl who is growing way too fast for my liking. i wanted to cry! WAH!

but enough about this mama who is just being a big ol' pussy about life.  

i spent last week prepping for the party and what a party it was - awesome and creative lootbags, a huge bouncy castle, a balloon artist and sleeping beauty all graced our house.  it was bloody hot outside so we moved the party from the sauna that was our backyard into the house.  children hopped up on sugar, drenched and sweaty from losing their shizz in the bouncy castle and going crazy over sleeping beauty all made for a fantastic party.  needless to say, my house was a fucking zoo on saturday.

 

 

on sunday we went to the (actual) zoo.  i'm not a fan of going outdoors during a heat wave but kayla wanted to go and since she run dis house, we went.  the zoo was pretty good - there was lots of shade and a nice breeze to cool everyone off.  i meant to take more pictures but it was hot and  i was too lazy so this is the only image i took.  note the caption.  i should've taken more pictures when we were at the zoo water park but again, the heat.  i'm one of those people who petrifies in extreme weather and doesn't want to move.

 

the good thing is that when i woke up this morning, i didn't have to deal with that shitty feeling everyone gets which is the 'dreaded return-to-work-after-a-brilliant-long-weekend' because it's a long weekend for me everyday, bishes!  w00t!  i know you hate me.