found a hilarious post from a few years ago... one of my favorites that i wanted to (re)share.
our lunch table discussions at work are all kinds of hilarious. the other day, we were swapping embarrassing drunk stories and it was good to know that i wasn't the only one who has made an ass of myself while drinking the devil's poison.
i started drinking when i was a wee teenager and that went on until i was about 20 or so when i discovered the underground scene and uh, found other ways to get awesome. while i've never gone so far as to vomit all over myself (yuck), i do have some funny stories.
what you see here is a graphical depiction of what happend many years ago. i was probably around 18 at the time and i woke up on my lawn. i know what you're thinking: that kathy is all kinds of klassy. noticed i spelled klassy with a "k".
back in my hardcore party days, i used to drink - a lot. after about 3 drinks, party kathy made her appearance and stayed all.night.long. she was pretty awesome too. it didn't matter if it was a school night; i was out partying until the wee morning hours, get about 1-2 hours of sleep, head off to school (hung over), come home and then do it all over again. how i graduated is beyond me. how i avoided cirrhosis of the liver is an even bigger mystery because i think i was hammered most of my teenage years. but let's get back to this story.
to be honest, i don't remember what i did or where i went on this night of embarassing debauchery. it's likely i went clubbing, it's likely it was a friday or saturday night because those nights i partied the hardest and there's a good chance that i was probably doing shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots, errrrbody!. most likely tequila shots or as i used to call it: "the drink that makes you lose your soul and/or pants". i have no idea who i went with or who drove me home but what i do remember is waking up because something was digging into my neck (a twig), i was cold (i could've sworn i brought a jacket but it was no where to be found) and my foot was wet since i'd lost one of my shoes. god, this memory is screaming back to me. i opened my eyes to find myself on my front lawn, lying under my neighbor's tree and when i looked up, i saw my neighbour - a quiet little indian woman who didn't speak any english - peering down at me, eyes wide with fright, holding her phone ready to dial 911 because of the dead body on her front lawn. no wait, that was me.
what i wanted to do was go back to sleep but being the lady that i am, i got up, brushed off the twigs, and grass from my clothes, picked out the leaves from my hair, smiled and waved hello. i tried to act normal as i walked towards my porch but it's sort of hard, especially when i looked like i just crawled out of the devil's asshole. and knowing my luck, my mom was probably yelling at me the minute i opened the door, making my hangover that much more fun.
ah, the good times....