i'm sure we all have family drama; some worse than others. i used to take pride in the fact that my family was virtually drama free. for the most part, we argued, squashed it and then forgot about it; never letting it affect our relationship. we were always there for one another and nothing got in the way of our relationship.
until recently. by recently, i mean the last 6 years.
my sister and i used to be really close. we're only 2yrs apart and for a long time, she was my best friend. i pretty much told her everything and she was the only person, other than my husband, with whom i could just talk with no filter and not be afraid to be judged.
now we don't talk because of an issue that's looming over our heads; something that she feels the need to always fucking bring up and i have no idea why. my mom has no idea why. and while i'm not about to air my dirty laundry on a public blog, i don't know what to do. needless to say, our relationship has deteriorated to a point where i don't even wnat to talk anymore and i hate that.
i hate that there's a huge wedge between us.
i hate that i resent her and she resents me.
i hate that idon't know what to do or how to fix it.
i hate that i'm now one of those women i used to feel sorry for who has a sibling but doesn't talk to them.... because when you have a sibling, you should talk to them. be close with them. family is so important and anything else is secondary.
i don't like being that woman.
i don't like not talking to her.
i don't like how weeks and months pass and we don't pick up the phone to talk. to find out what's going on. to shoot the shit. to visit one another. to be sisterly.
but how do you get over 6 years of resentment and anger?
can it go back to the way it was? do i even have the strength to forgive and forget?
right now i'm being a huge crybaby pansyass because my feelings are hurt and with time, i'll probably just forget about the whole thing...can i?
sorry for being such a debbie downer, folks. this sucks :(
oh yeah, and the humpday linkup is on wednesday. join if you want. or not. whatever.