.....and i don't care of those names belong to a bunch of 8-9yr old kids. yeah, i said it. because a victory is a victory, amirite?
there are times when a competitive nature can be a bit much; like at a kid's birthday party and the main game is laser tag. but guess what? i don't give a fuck. if you're old enough to be in that arena and able to hold and shoot a laser gun, then you're considered a target. welcome to the thunderdome, bitches.
that's what happened on Saturday - my niece's 9th birthday party was held at Laser Tag and when my sister asked if kayla wanted to participate, i legit told her: never mind kayla, CAN ADULTS PLAY BECAUSE THEM KIDS ARE GOING DOWN. i was totally serious about that too.
you see dear readers, when i play a game, i play to win. i don't care if you're male, female or how old you are - if you can play, then all is fair so i'll have no mercy on yo' ass because hey, life ain't fair and if it's not me taking you down, it'll be someone else. some people were all "oh, give them a break; they're just kids" which i don't understand for the following reasons:
1) they have working laser guns
2) they can walk/run
3) they can see
not sure about you but these are enough reasons for me to take those motherfuckers down. or something less offensive.
so on saturday morning i got dressed to go, which meant wearing camo, duh. my strategy was on point; ducking and weaving in full effect as i made my way around the arena john woo styles, kicking ass and taking names.
there were times i forgot that i was playing with a bunch of kids and unleashed my trucker mouth whenever i got hit. a few choice words slipped out like fuck!, shit!, goddammit!, you punkass motherfucker!, suck on that, biaaaaaaatch!, eat that!, are you fucking serious?!. there was probably more but who can remember.
a few times, some kids heard me and said "someone said a bad word!" which made me scamper away because i didn't want to be fingered as the heathen, foul-mouthed mother. i also shot at them as i ran away, heh.
every time i look at the pic on the right, i laugh because the (gun) activator key in our hands makes it look like we're holding dildos.
and at the end of the game when they posted mine and kayla's rank as #1?
clearly, i should not be invited to any more kids games.
are you a dillhole competitive?
pssst! don't forget about wednesday's humpday confessions! grab ian's face and hump the shit out of it!