i'm an awesome parent and i'm not just saying that to toot my own horn.
i'm fair yet firm and i refuse to let kayla grow up to be an entitled, spoiled brat. ain't nobody got time fo' dat.
we have rules in this house and kayla is to follow them. the rules are fair, age-appropriate and if they're not followed, she is punished. i am the parent, she is the child and i'm not afraid to parent the way i see fit. anyone who judges me for being a hardass parent can suck it.
so, here are a few things that i (secretly) think and people will probably judge the jesus out of me just for admitting it:
*cue this face when you see fit because shit is about to get real up in hurr*
1// all kids demanding assholes and they are born that way. yeah, i said it. i'm not kidding either: kids are selfish, demanding, inconsiderate and impatient and it's our job as parents to de-asshole them through boundaries, good examples and firm rules. those kids who always interrupt while others are talking? fucking annoying - teach your kids patience to wait their turn. kids who don't understand the word "no" and proceed to have a meltdown? it's because they're always used to getting their way and freak out when they don't. kids are a reflection of us and our behaviours; they mimic what they see, what they hear and how we treat others so if there's a kid who is constantly an asshole to others, that's because that shit doesn't get corrected at home.
2// i secretly think that the moms who are 110% focused on their kids and ONLY their kids and claim to be over the moon 24/7 are fucking lying. what about YOU? what about your time? what about your life pre-kids?? your passions and dreams and all that shit? it's great that these moms are focused but to have zero time for themselves and still be happy? ain't buying it, sorry. it may or may not be true but dealing with demanding kids 24/7 cannot make someone 100% happy and fullfilled because there is no balance.
3// telling someone to "go fuck themselves" should be legit advice for a kid. whenever kayla used to come home and tell me how so-and-so was mean to her again and asked what she should do, the first thought that always popped in my head was "you should tell her to go fuck herself". in all honesty, any kid who is consistently mean to mine is a down right dick head and i've legit called i'm not above calling another 5yr old a cunt if they pick on kayla for no reason other than to be a bitch. i teach kayla to be kind and respectful to others and yes, i know they're only 5 but being a young kid doesn't give them a pass to be a douchebag and they're also old enough to know that being mean and cruel is wrong. parents need to teach their kids that words hurt; sometimes even more than a punch or a hit.
4// all those games that kayla asks me to play are boring. this is probably one of the worst things for me to admit because she's my kid and kids love playing those sort of games and all but it's true. playing hide and go seek one or two times is ok but all day, errday? no, thanks, i'm a grown-ass woman. we don't play that shit for fun or to pass time; we drink wine, hop on the internet or sit on the couch doing dick-all to pass the time. but, because kayla is an only child, i'm obligated to do so.
5// acting like school is awesome is exhausting. this is one of those white lies that all parents tell their kids and anyone who says otherwise, is a goddamn liar. school sucks, that's it. the homework sucks, having to spend all day in a classroom sucks, the majority of the teachers suck too. but as a parent you can't say shit like that; you have to pretend as though school is the awesomest place to be and everything you learn is awesome and having homework teaches you things blahblahblah.
6// i think organized sports that don't keep track of points because "there aren't any losers" is fucking stupid. way to go for setting your kids up for disappointment in the real world. if you're playing a game or a sport, then there's a winner and a loser and if you're the winner good for you. if you're the loser, that means you have to try harder and practice more to be the winner. we teach this to kayla and when playing games, sometimes she wins and you damn sure that sometimes she loses. at first, it was hard for her to lose but we taught her about good sportsmanship; that being a gracious loser isn't about throwing a fit and crying; it's about turning to her opponent to say "good game" and then talk shit about them when they're out of earshot haha kidding (not kidding?!) :D
so, have i won the "worst parent in the world" award yet? has anyone unfollowed me because of this post?