i've said this before and i'll say it again: i love being in my (late) 30s. it seems that the older i get, the less fucks i give and already i have none to spare so it's like i'm a 60yr old senior citizen trapped in a 38yr old body and you know how they roll - they basically don't give a shit about anything and walk around like they own the place....sort of like how i act now.
taking a nasty dump in the office washroom? don't even care.
farting around my husband? not even sorry.
someone at work trying to shit on me? come at me, bro.
telling someone to go fuck themselves? done that and will do it again.
trying to start drama with me? ain't nobody got time fo' dat.
and since i'm too lazy to think of a witty segue into the next few pieces of word vomit, here are other things for which i have no shame:
++ remember when NSync was relevant? yeah, went and got myself their greatest hits. and i'm blasting it at work, not to mention i just wasted an hour and half watching their old videos. #sorrynotsorry.
++ i will get up from my desk promptly at 3pm and leave to go home. don't care if the SVP or the director is around and sees this, either. i'm in at 645/650am so no one can say shit to me.
++ for some reason, i've gotten used to carrying this with me to work:
you know you're an old hag when you carry an ugly reusable bag that holds random papers and shit for no reason other than being used carrying it. i even use this to carry my knitting when i need to.
++ one of my favorite songs to blast is color me badd's "i wanna sex you up". you know that was everyone's jam back in the day.
++ i'm anti-social and don't care. if i don't know you very well, i'll still walk by you in the hall without any acknowledgement. i don't mean to be mean but seriously, do you think that person really cares how i am, what i did for the weekend or what's been going on with me? the answer is no. i'm just saving both of us time wasted from useless small talk (which i hate doing as well). keeping it real, bitches.
++ if i don't want to go out somewhere, i won't make excuses. i'll straight up tell you one of two reasons: i don't feel like it or it's too late. usually it's a combination of both because i really don't see the need to get home, get comfortable and then have to get up and get dressed again to go out? sorry, i gots no time for that. hey, at least it's better than lying, amirite?
++ if i don't like someone, i don't try to hide it either. i won't be openly rude or mean to them but they cease to exist in my eyes...they're just not "there" to me.
++ if someone sucks at work and i'm asked about how they are/what it's like to work with them, i'll legit tell them: they suck. why pretend like it's anything more or less than that?
now that you all think i'm a straight up biatch, what things have you no shame about?
people, meet Rachael of the blog, The Rachael Way. i'm pretty sure you all have come across her blog and have fallen in love with her kind and gentle soul. for some reason, i have this weird, old mama protective hag thing going on with rachael and she's well aware that i'm not afraid to pull out my old hag card to give her unsolicited advice because that's what old hag mamas do. rach, when you have me as a follower, this is what you get. #sorrynotsorry.
the thing about rachael is that she's so open and honest; you can just tell by the way she writes and it's what keeps me coming back to her blog. she has shared her story of the strength that's required when living with addict, or how she went apeshit (and won life, in my books) when she bitchslapped a guy for cheating (this story made me laugh and want to hi-five rach at the same time) and with such a kind soul, it's no wonder she has so many friends who love and support her.
enough with my blabbering. go stalk rachael now!